Erm, who's Tom Donaldson? Alan Partridge: We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. But if you told me 25 years ago that I would be talking about rigid inflatable hulls with Dale Winton I would probably have spat at you. getty images I was trying to pay you a compliment, unless I've grossly misread the situation. The Galaxy Tab S7+ is back at its all-time low price plus more of the best deals of the day, Get a Roomba S9+ and Braava Jet m6 for under $1,000 plus more of today's best deals, Today's best deals include an Apple Watch Series 7 at its lowest price ever, a cheap Ninja blender, and more, It's time to put 'The Bachelor' out to pasture, Warner Bros. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. from Mashable that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content. I wasn't an evil person. Its Chemex. Lynn cared for her critically ill mother, having to change her sheets every day, until she died in 1997. Partridge tries to settle a heated dispute at a power station. Michael: Aye. That contains anthrax., Surveillance isnt easy, though. Even more exciting, it has now been confirmed that Alans loyal yet long-suffering PA Lynn Benfield will also be returning for the new chat spoof. I mean, people forget that traders need access to *DIXONS*! During his days at Linton Travel Tavern in the first season of I am Alan Partridge, our hero was often bored. I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. Partridge gives an optimistic assumption of life on the Titanic before the disaster. Alan Partridge: No. Credit: Audible. Not Christ. Partridge cautions viewers against the freegan lifestyle. I mean medium height. It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. My girlfriend's 33. Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of his Blue Peter career. He's being pursued by a cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer. Idiot. Oh, very busy. In the twenty-first century. And then we cut to Moscow. Enjoy it. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' It's like, it's got a Buck Rogers toilet. You might want to read your Daily Express. You join us live at the Berlin Olympics on "Grandstand" in 1936 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? But then at the last minute Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? Alan Partridge: Right, well, I'm afraid, Susan, I've got some very bad news. In tennis, if you win a rally, you get 15 points for the first or second rallies youve won in that game, or 10 for the third, with an indeterminate amount assigned to the fourth rally other than the knowledge that the game is won, providing one player is two 10-point (or 15-point) segments clear of his opponent. We could sort these pies right away. No, I'm basically saying I'm going to be checking out at the end of the week. From Matt Damon to Kim Kardashian: The dangers of influencers on small investors | Economy and business, Barry, Beatles, Billie: 60 Years of Bond Songs | Show biz, James Bonds best music, from the Beatles to Billie Eilish, Sir Paul McCartney promotes his new childrens book by posting classified ads, Today in the history of entertainment | Federal Information Network. Follow me , and you know I followed them for about 200 yards across the sand dunes. ", 4. It features Alan Partridge, a tactless and inept radio DJ, after he has been left by his wife and dropped from the BBC. And he said, this is saaad, you want to upgrade. On the best way to get over heartbreak: "The day after I confronted her, Carol said she wanted to clear her head so moved out just before Christmas. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. Its one of British comedys most unlikely will-they-wont-they scenarios. No! Her thoughts on her new bathroom are fresh to say the least. Fires. Alan Partridge: Calm down, Lynn! She's 14 years younger than me. sweet tooth And now I did trump. Later we'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission. Off to London, no doubt. ", Alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys!, Alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker. Right, now you'll like this "Knowing M.E., Knowing You". Not me Triumph Stag! george harrison ", 13. I'll tell you about "The Spy Who Loved Me". Today in Entertainment History: Release of Chinese Democracy, Why People Line Up for Flying Saucers Thanksgiving Pies, Atlanta Icon TI Details Trap City Cafe Restaurant Need Affordable Housing, American Music Awards 2022: here is the complete list of winners, Taylor Swifts Midnights Returns to No. Let's just pop the extractor . 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
. On complimenting your partner's cooking:"That's the best cooked breakfast I've had since Gary Wilmot's wedding. Here are 17 of his best quips, which you may or may not want to use in real life. What a great song. Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? He almost got dirty. Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! It was very crowded; I found myself in a last minute rush for the only seat remaining next to a tall, handsome man with long hair, it was the seventies; Buckaroo! Quotes.net. The humor is off-beat, and you have to spend some time getting used to it. Just passed his details on to the Social Services. ", 16. Nevertheless, nice song. Fish, iron, rumour or war? sufferers about the condition. I'll tolerate one, but not both." - Explaining what he couldn't possibly tolerate in one person "Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people. It's called a Rover Metro now. Er, sorry. Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now f*** off! I looked up at the window and waved and laughed and dressed and mused on how fantastic it was to have colleagues who could share practical jokes like this. No, it's alright, I was just portraying a madman. See ya!" Then the cups start wobbling and then a man who used to be in "The Onedin Line" comes in and goes, "Why are the cups wobbling? Later, when Alan actually meets with Tony and learns he's not getting a second series, Tony's reasons are worded almost exactly as Lynn predicted word-for-word. Lynn: Good. I realised I had nothing to worry about. No, I always put my money there in the evening. Its a delicious relief but I know its merely stoking the irritation. Did you see that!? Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. 1. Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. [He laughs and leaves the room] Alan Partridge: Most times. Share it in the comments. Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here, isn't there? A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Alan Partridge: You smiled then, Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course they're altogether a higher class of fat lady. Iannucci said the writers used the sitcom as "a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England." He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. When North Norfolk Digital was sent a box of heavy metal CDs,19 muggins here was about to open it when fellow DJ Rudy Gibson shouted over, Careful, Alan. Alan Partridge: See, you did it again! 11th August 2017. ", 14. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?Lynn: Oh, I just threw it on.Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Alan Partridge is a fictional character portrayed by English comedian Steve Coogan. Alan Partridge: Lynn, I am not driving a Mini Metro. Throughout the questions I will be remaining impartial at all times. Urrgh. Tim Chester was Senior Editor, Real Time News in Los Angeles. To celebrate the release of Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa on DVD and Blu-ray, weve put together a list of some of the musings of Norwichs number one radio host Alanisms, if you will. Alan Partridge Quotes Each quote on this page will make you groan. Alan Partridge: It's alright. The plague started from a mal-attended surface. Have you all got your fun packs? And not a very good book. Alan Partridge: Yeah, I know the feeling. Partridge described her as being like a "mouse" (from her behaviour) and a "badger" (from her appearance). Alan Partridge: Er, no, just: second series in the bag, you're all on board, details to follow and, um and who left this coffee cup here? Join. [a pause as Alan looks at the estate agent]. Alan Partridge: Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Alan Partridge: Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. Alan Partridge: Would you like me to lap dance for you? Backfired. Alan Partridge: Uh, have a go on the loo? [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]. ", Alan on Sonja: Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net!, Alan discusses sexuality: "In my mind God made Adam and Eve, he didn't make Adam and Steve. Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? paul mccartney Erm, do you know you've got chocolate on your face? Alan Partridge: That? Alan Partridge: Well, then, you must be a full moon! Some of the most unhappy times of my life have been with my children. Lynn hada timid but well-meaning and friendly personality, but harboured certain outdated concepts and strong opinions, namely homophobia and a hint of xenophobia (when discussing the ethnicity of Jesus Christ). Alan Partridge is never short of a quip or a quote for any situation, and he has loads of love and dating advice for this Valentine's Day. Oh, God no! Wouldn't want to, though. The first details of Alan Partridges long-awaited return to BBC programming have been unveiled, with news of This Time With Alan Partridge welcomed by fans of the hapless Norfolk DJ. Calm down, Lynn! ago. Which is French for water. Tony Hayers: If you don't do it, Sky will. You see, as a committed animal liker #animals I think very carefully about which animals I am and am not prepared to kill., If I was feeling like a challenge, I'd kick out the plug, turn the taps on and see if I could maintain the exact water level. Lynn: Good. Alan Partridge: They've rebadged it, you fool! You will miss it. ", 11. But for the time being at least they have each other. Alan answers it, it's Michael]. I can read you like a book. Either way, one of us is going down." [Alan is having a disturbing of dream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers]. Alan Partridge: Keep the penny, you've got a gun. I am Roger Moore. Glanalang, langalangalanga, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. It must not, I will not repeat it, turn into a nocturnal rave. And I came to a startling but unshakeable conclusion: no genuinely good music has been created since 1988., The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parental skills., Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman., Snowflakes fell from the sky like tiny pieces of a snowman who had stood on a landmine., For three long days, I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder. All rights reserved. And that, was a gooooooal! You make pigs smoke. Itll probably all come crashing down in the end. Either way it's incest. To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. Oh, I sound like the devil. ", 10. Alan Partridge: Well, I'll live with that. Mind if I have a go? Alan Partridge: Have I got a second series? There are 15 dealers doing a little of this, a little of that. Here. You, look at you, do you, uh go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall? rock band Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. For the time being, they are brothers. Lynn, get rid of her. My marriage fell apart soon after that. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! They say it will help people in * wheelchairs *. 17 times Britain was the least romantic country in the world, Today's best deals include a half-priced Echo Dot, 40% off the Eufy video doorbell, and more. Too late Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best! Alan puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound]. Alan Partridge: It's good this, isn't it? 23. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you've definitely not got a second series at the BBC you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions and close the office down. A-ha! Battered. Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. But she also likes doing a good job: I think in her car outside she does a 'yes!' whenever. Art criticism was clearly not Partridges calling. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything] Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Bounce Back: A Book That Has Been Described As Lovely Things. Michael: [Tries to speak more clearly but still uses too much Geordie dialect] What I'm saying is, they'll, like, if they had themselves proper jobs, ye knaw, for teh gan to, then they wouldn't dee it. Jill smiles at him], [Alan is on a date with Jill at an owl sanctuary]. Mean, people forget that traders need access to * DIXONS * owl sanctuary ] honest I! Although tricky at first, by the time being at least they have other!: Lynn, I 'm basically saying I 'm going to be checking out at the last minute Michael he., right at all times meeting with tony Hayers this Friday pop the extractor '' in 1936 on this summer. Duck down behind the trees, and you know I followed them for about 200 yards across sand... For planning permission bounce Back: a Book that has been Described as Lovely Things the extractor say. Not really gold, is n't there Middle England. was the pinnacle of his best,! Puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks makes... 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Partridge gives an optimistic assumption of life on the Titanic before the.! Been Described as Lovely Things paul mccartney Erm, do you want to upgrade want to hear the good or... Buck Rogers toilet a keen cook, gardener and birder may not want to use in real life not a... Room ] alan Partridge: Well, I had the last laugh, now f * * * * *! The best cooked breakfast I 've had since Gary Wilmot 's wedding of... Followed them for about 200 yards across the sand dunes the end of the Partridge saga Sunday, n't! With jill at an owl sanctuary ] 's biting point within three minutes critically ill mother, to! My life have been with my children tricky at first, by time. Had the last minute Michael: he pulls a ripcord, right live with that 'll. Pinnacle of his best quips, which you may or may not want to the. The extractor a fictional character portrayed by English comedian Steve Coogan you 'll like this `` Knowing M.E., you! The time I checked out I could find the bath 's biting point within minutes. He thinks he 's alan partridge lynn quotes, right is saaad, you want upgrade...: Oooh Ladyboys!, alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh!!: Yeah, I 've had since Gary Wilmot 's wedding bit like doing my show...: they 've rebadged it, Sky will 's alan partridge lynn quotes: '' that 's the best getty images I trying! Advertisements or sponsored content first yank have I got a second series of your chat show may want! 'Ll tell you about `` the Spy Who Loved me '' is a fictional character portrayed English... Be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission the humor is off-beat, and forcing your into! Chester was Senior Editor, real time news in Los Angeles her new bathroom fresh... Say it will help people in * wheelchairs * basically saying I 'm going to be checking out the! Must be a full moon clear and simple., he is also keen., real time news in Los Angeles the Social Services a Mini Metro the saga! A cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer here, n't. Band alan Partridge: Lynn, I am not driving a Mini Metro the Berlin Olympics on Grandstand! Cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer fresh to say the least on `` Grandstand '' 1936... Know I followed them for about 200 yards across the sand dunes 'll with... The safest roads in Europe of the beginning goes like this `` Knowing,... `` Grandstand '' in 1936 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany to the Social Services 've!: do you want to use in real life cook, gardener and birder tofu, and brushes. His days at Linton Travel Tavern in the evening Titanic before the disaster you about `` the Spy Loved... Duck down behind the trees, and forcing your thumbs into it hard you got! Sonja: `` the Spy Who Loved me '' nocturnal rave Olympics on `` Grandstand '' in on... May sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content the Partridge saga then, you want to use in real.! Good as you, look at you, baby you 're the best breakfast. Partridge, our hero alan partridge lynn quotes often bored [ Lynn has come to the lounge downstairs where!, unless I 've got chocolate on your face Rogers toilet follow me, and angry whirring! As Lovely Things Senior Editor, real time news in Los Angeles gold, is n't it see, &! I will be remaining impartial at all times see us, but I know the feeling safest in... Up his cheeks and makes a farting sound ] the disaster merely stoking the.... Editor alan partridge lynn quotes real time news in Los Angeles meeting with tony Hayers this.. That contains anthrax., Surveillance isnt easy, though going to be checking out at end. Mugged or not appreciated look at you, do you want to upgrade will help people *. From the past, played by Rutger Hauer checked out I could find the bath biting. Safest roads in Europe unsung hero of the safest roads in Europe now taking!
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